rockin' my world.

ACT.336 - another level of understanding.

i'm stressed out . i'm on the verge of exploding and " dying on the spot " .

at times , i really wish to have someone to depend on. for projects , work and such stuff . i don't wanna be a leader , i wanna learn .

back in sec school , when i took up leadership roles , i had my officers like Mr Lai , Ms Tan , Simon , Marcus , TingJi and so many seniors to depend on . When i encounted problems that stop me in my path , they can provide me solutions , teach me , or even solve it for me . But right now ... i'm on my own . it's hard ... cause i ain't no Donald Trump .

it's a lesson to be learnt and an experience . but it's a very hard lesson to start with . everybody has high expectations of me , but i don't perform at times .

At times , i keep myself low and become a follower . But when i felt that things shouldn't be this way , there was nothing i could do . Because i limited myself .

i'll be frank to all my guys , i am in a very bad state right now . tomorrow is presentation , and we're not even on the right path . I'm panicking like crazy , and my mind isn't getting all the ideas coordinated . Everyone asks me qns about the project ... and it's all making me worse. I can't keep my mind on so much stuff .

Yes , Doris expects a lot from us . and you guys don't feel as much urgency as me , most probably . I can't put up a lackluster performance .

I really wish for all of u to contribute all ur ideas . Don't hold back , if u have anything to say . but anyway guys ... without all of u , i wouldn't have made it so far . thank you.

posted by Ben @ 1/23/2006 12:39:00 AM