rockin' my world.

ACT.410 - wish for someone to make my day.

i woke up with a terrible start this morning . mum yelling at me , continuously , asking me to get up . i'm still so tired , i didn't wanna get out of bed . and it went on and on , and it drove me crazy . no negotiation was allowed .

and there wasn't a very good reason for waking me up , the reason is : " HEY ! YOU HAVE TO WAKE UP ! ! "

and after waking up , eating breakfast . i wanted to game for a while , and the yelling starts once again . GO MOP THE FLOOR ! wah kao , i must have offended all the gods on this earth .

Mop finish the floor , finally , i can game . then joined my family in the living room for the movie Huo Yuan Jia / FEARLESS . then halfway thru , go game . and in a while , HEY ! GO BATHE !

wah , stop fucking yelling , cause i dun have 2 days off a week . SATURDAY IS DB day and that means it's a real tiring day for me , and sunday is the only day off . and dun spoil it for me like that .

so we were supposed to go have a dinner with grandpa , a pre- mother's day dinner . and my dad was down there mumbling to my mum , WE DUN NEED TO GO WITHOUT HIM . HE CAN GAME ALL DAY .

the thing is , when the exams are coming , or project deadlines are coming , I DUN HAVE FUCKING TIME TO SLEEP enough , i get to sleep only max 5 or 4 hrs everyday . so i'm trying to appreciate my day and this period when it's off season for school. GAME AND SLEEP . that's what i do now . and in a while , i have to get busy with school and all that . SO GIVE ME THE TIME TO RELAX , will ya ? I SLOG MYSELF OUT THERE To get all the bullshit into my head , and think ,decide and form up the project . i can choose to be a fucking loser , not to study , and neglect the chance to go to a uni . but my only motivation is my family .

i dun wish to game . but bcos right now , my life is so meaningless and i'm just like a piece of rotten wood , floating in the pacific ocean . It's only in gaming , that i can kill my spare time . LOOK , i dun date . i dun club . i dun play pool . i dun hang out with a gang and whack people up . I dun find smoking or drinking buddies . all i do is study , dragonboat , and sleep .

sometimes , i really wish to do many things that seemed inappropriate . Yes , you got it . smoke , have tattoos , earrings , and a lot more . i just wish to be so ignorant about what i'm going face in the future , the professional working world .

my family doesn't understand me . and they claim i dun open up . but even if i opened up , they never ever gave me practical advice and usually try to bullshit me off about it .

IF FINDING A GF IS THAT EASY , i already have one . IF THE REASON I DUN HAVE A GF IS THAT BECAUSE I AM NOT CARING ENUF OR LOVING , or that i am fucked up , you are so wrong .

I put all my heart in , for a girl . and what i get ? crap . crap . crap and more CRAP . u never get it , don't u ? so stop asking me about the girlfriend shit . No , i'm not gay . u dun have to worry .

when my grades suck , you only know how to scold me . when i got reasonably good results , u just said : " Ok . " HEY , THAT'S IT ? ! and to think that you all are my pillar of motivation . you crushed my source of motivation .

i'm already god damn it 19 . stop treating me like a kid , and maybe i must tell u , i'm not dumb . your kid is not dumb . respect me as a young adult please .

anyway , so i'm back to modelling . I guess i dun have much of a choice . just go for it . and this time , it's some international competition . not too sure about the details cause i dun bother to write down the venues and times for the previews and so on . i only know , next week vesak day , in civic plaza . i'll do it for the sake of $$$ .

and i have to rush to a rehearsal just now after dinner . WOOT . A SUNDAY WASTED . thanks to crap in the morning and afternoon throughout the house and a dinner . and work .

what a day .

posted by Ben @ 5/07/2006 11:35:00 PM