rockin' my world.

ACT.473 - fixing a broken heart.

what a problematic period . =\ another friend of mine was talking about suicide =.= and i guessed all that i have said din went in. another friend of mine is in a total whirlwind , which actually she kind of caused upon herself. But sometimes u dun get why u did such things too . arrrggghhh .

To add on , it's the Hungry Ghost Festival of 2 months to rock our lives for now. haha , i guess it's time to go home early everytime , after having a fantastic experience last year. =)

Haha , talking about suicide , i really wanted to do that when i was a primary school kid . Stress was upon me , for not scoring full marks for every spelling , not doing well for tests , then i would be caned for all this fucking reasons. Then i dun know why sometimes Dad would become crazy and whack me with his bare hands. Frankly speaking , i can't remember exactly everything in the past , but i guess that's something good . Haha , so one day i was like " CHEE BYE ! this life is so fucked up. might as well go die . "

I looked everywhere for the window key , opened the window grill , and i looked down .

WOO . That's kind of high . Maybe not . it's SCARY .


HAHA , so there you have it . i'm still alive today . and that time , i was only on the 5th floor . now i'm on the 12 . haha , so u can kind of think , i'll never do suicide by height .

After going through a pessimistic life of 16 years , i finally looked at things the brighter way. haha , so that kind of means , no SUICIDE anymore. even though life may seem tuf. somemore , 12 floors lei , i'm scared . haha .

oh well, life is never easy. but suicide is never a solution . it only ends everything of you meaninglessly , leaving your loved ones broken hearted and disappointed.

everyone out there had it tough in their own lives , or even worse. they never committed suicide , because they toughed it out with faith although it may seem God is against them.

the word that relates best to suicide is " DUMB " . get it ?

anyway , whether i'm dying soon or early , i know i dun have a choice of heaven or hell . haha , i'm for sure going to hell where i may find a few fimiliar faces. =
)

posted by Ben @ 8/08/2006 10:00:00 AM