rockin' my world.

Flash back . i don't wanna go back to the past .

Hmm .. Pame , just wanna let u know .. that i used to thought i had a very good friend beside me .. best friend , in 2 interval of my life . but they just weren't . They didn't treat me as one .

i believed i had blog this one long ago . nah .. shan't repeat .. too long story le ..

Just that , on the search of a best friend , it's a long journey .

Hmm .. Final Fantasy 8 taught me something .. and i can't say it's good or bad .. you know .. the main guy .. presumed when people passes away .. everyone will start talking bout him in past tense .. and that person no longer exists in everyone's lives ....

So i had a thought one day ... if i died one day .. will everyone talk about me in past tense ? Will everyone forget me soon ? will everyone forget bout me eventually ? will anyone cry ? What will be the last words i will hear b4 i go ? will i still exists in everyone's heart ?

sometimes .. when a certain good friend haven msg me for very long , or msn or phone .. and she/he have been online everytime i see her .. and yes of course i did msg her .. but she didn't attempt .. sometimes , i will scold the hell outta her , that she's taking me for granted and all that ... i have told everyone again and again , not everyone is entitled to live forever , just some day they have to go . it may be tomorrow , it may be a week later .. so cherish time and ur friends . if u wanna treat them as acquaintances , then whatever it is . i give up .

that's why u see .. i'm no longer very active in msn .. or in my life . i don't know what i'm doing ...

well , Good news , my lecturer said that i was one of the top scorers .. so don't know got what prize or whatever ... then i told myself .. if i could put in so little effort into last Semester and get such results .. i gotta work hard this semester ... i gotta prove myself . prove to my parents .

i really wonder why did Heaven remove all our riches in just one day . if not , i can have a car right now , drive everyday to sch and home and drive my friends everywhere . and we'll be all living in a condo , my friends can come to the gym everyday .. swim .. play ... and i can have a dog as well . my Bro can have more of his clothing /gaming desires ...

But i guess heaven has this in planned . If we had the same luxury life , i'll still be a spoilt brat . Just like the way i am now too . i'll take things for granted and treat my parents the same way as i did .

i guess ..if i really want a car , i shouldn't dig one out from my parents . all beacuse i see my friends owning cars . i think it's only right to work hard for one .

am i still a boy .. in his fantasies ... a year went past . no sight of a guardian angel . Nah .. i don't pity myself . Cause my buddies pass their lives very well without girls .. so let us be in our guy world , of course not forever . we have been in a guy world for 10 years already anyway . so let it be . haha .. anyway , i've got sick of gaming ... i wanna do HomeWORK instead !

and recently , i have been researching on car systems and car components .. i'll do it everytime when i'm free .. this way , it won't be hard for me to cope in my next degree ... but all those stuff can be so sophisticated ! gotta go ... business in the toilet !

posted by Ben @ 12/16/2004 10:20:00 AM