rockin' my world.

When it comes right back to hit you.

Finally , operations has ended ! We can finally take a break now... Look at me now , the fat is starting to show because i spent most of my time in a SUV car moving around and not doing any exercise.

When i finally have time to start gym and running , guess what . I'm on COURSE next week ! ARRGGGGHHHHH .

apparently it's a one month course in Kranji .

Then guess what . After the course ...... I'm soon on my way to THAILAND . WHAT THE.

Man , i'm so gonna miss the dragonboat regatta in november. :(


I started thinking about it you know , when i was an elite in the past , with a rich cca record , as a strong leader , with all my ncc good friends , we all possessed one flaw - EGO .

We had this very huge ego , like as if we are damn good . elite . It came very natural to us to have this kind of thing within us .

Then later on was my poly life , which had no changes because i was in a very strong and competitive dragonboat team , of course this flaw stayed in me .

Then came NS . Hit me big time . I knew i was good , but i couldn't perform better than people . ( only the first 3 months of ocs was nice . ) People did not have a good impression of me , instructors disliked me . They think i'm totally fucked up .

When everything went well , bcos of me , nobody knew . Everything that went bad , even if it's not my fault , somehow , somebody up there made it a fact that they will be present to witness my mistakes.

My ranking in the course was pathetic . I never ever performed so badly in my life.

It hit me then . Because i was good and so proud about it in the past , i was now made the lowest of everything i can ever knew .

Even right now , the present , in my new unit , i'm still having problems .

I told my brother about it , he gave me some advice. Kind of like , "don't let this bring you down . Whatever's wrong happening to you , Don't let yourself perform such mistakes on others. "

Yeah , i signed 3 extra duties. Not totally my fault . not totally even a mistake. I was sulking and complaining that very day .

Then what a Professor , Randy Pausch who showed up on the Oprah show , what he said , recalled on my mind .

Don't complain. Work harder.


yeah , that's what i gotta do then.

posted by Ben @ 7/15/2008 12:37:00 PM