rockin' my world.

Fallen so hard , so fast ~ Btw .. the song in your journal is cool too ... i put this song although i do have other cool songs to put is to describe what we are going thru ... best frens falling for each other .. but apparently .. i think only one has fallen for the other ... is it ? ~ i'm falling sick .. could it be malaria or dengue fever ? or what u call bird flu ? There were lots of mosquitoes on the bus so it's like as if we are in a trap .. ~ my mind was twirling round and round when i was in the bus ... i'm so confused ... thinking .. whether ... we are fated .. whether i can give u happiness ... ~ didn't ask u out for Valentine's day b4 i go abroad ... i hate my decision for delaying .... cause .. i always lost someone after i take one small step back .. 4 years ago .. last year and now ... is Heaven performing another prank ? or is it that .. he's grooming me .. cause i hope .. another chance come by .... Although i may spend V day alone .. lost and cold ... although i will be disappointed .. i will never stop u from your decision , go for what u want .... really ... i will not hate u or condemn u .. ~ i have been dreaming lately .. it has been long since i had a dream .. but it a nightmare .. and it's comes after another ..each with different stories .. and it's about u .. i wake up cold .. so afraid ... that u have left me .. even as a fren .. ~ i wonder .. if this sickness that is about to come .. will bring me down ....if it is coming .. is it another test from heaven to let me see the truth .. let me know how much people care .... yes .. i wanna know the answer . ~ My soul is disappearing .. i can't feel any more warmth ... i feel so cold .. and i wish .. i wish i can be me once again ... although troubled at times.. i still can enjoy life .. and pretty crappy and crazy at times ... But now , a man without a soul .. child that has lost his way ... wondering which way is it to home .. home sweet home .... but he runs through valleys and mountains ..and find himself .. still trapped here ... all he needs is a miracle ..or an angel ...to pick him up ... ~ Is this the end of my story ? i know .. i know ..it wun end here ! I know ... we will be together in the end .. living happily ever after .. isn't it ? i know .. that wedding bells will ring one day for the both of us ... that we will exchange rings and all that ? ~ i can't be feeling like that if i want that day to come ... - a dying man ... can he be revived ? i really wonder ... why am i in such a state ... Pessismistic ? perhaps .. but i've lost someone i really love .. i can't help it but feel so down .... ~ hope i make a difference in people's lives ... so i can leave happily if i really have to .. it's all fate , Heaven's decision ... so .. in time ... we will know ... what did he planned for .. did he planned for my last chapter in the book ... in the story of love . ~ in life ... remember .. to go for someone u really love .. not to hesistate ...not to think twice .. just go for him/her if u really love the person ... or be prepared to lose that someone .. forever . Like me ... have no way to go now , no guidance ... just walk where the wind heads ... walking and walking ... forever .

posted by Ben @ 1/26/2004 11:37:00 AM