rockin' my world.

Days become duller ..

I finally wake up to my senses . I guess it's actually all a fantasy image by Heaven again . Oh great , been played again ... well .. life still goes on ..

U know .. i ever dreamt of a day .. when my gf's birthday come .. i'll bring her to a theatre .. and leave her outside first .. giving some lame excuse .. and ask her into the theatre by sms ... and when she walks in .. The light will shine through the darkly lighted theatre .. focusing on the stage .. And i'll play the piano .. May it be canon in Del major or An jing ..

i still have many ideas .. but apparently , they can't be implemented .. The other time for Yan Ni's birthday .. i wanted to arrange something real cool .. even with the help of my buddies .. to Set up a mini fireworks at Fort Canning for her .. presenting her with a cake .. but there was time constraint ..

I'll always remember what my friends would always say .. " Come on , get over it . She's not worth it. " " It's her loss .. " , well , i'm not sure bout this but many of them say ..

Being played again and again .. well , can God give me change ? i really feel totally like an idiot u know ? anyway .. you never hears what i say .. and thanks a lot today too , for letting me fall into a so so small hole when i was running . The hole was like so small and yet my whole leg went thru it .. and bruised my body for nothing . well , you can say that i'm dumb ..

i question my purpose again . I believe this world has love , trust , hope , faith , peace , beauty . But Heaven tries to hide it all from me ..

man , i don't even know what i'm saying .. back to my stupid singlehood life . The one man world , the Solitaire life . Clay Aiken sang the right song for me . Everything takes me down ..

Pessimistic ? well .. could be , but i don't think so . A life against all odds is not a nice one to exp with .

No one is here to hear me cry . No one is here to hear me say anything . All in their own worlds .

I think i get it . Maybe Heaven's telling me , not to look for it , but let it look for me . let Love look for me . U see , everytime i look for it , it never succeeds . I just have to see it pass by and grab it . isn't it ?

i'm so f*** up with everything liao , i don't know what to say anymore , no words can express how i feel , no one understands . arrrrRRRGGGGGhhhHHHHHhhh!!!

posted by Ben @ 9/14/2004 10:15:00 PM