rockin' my world.

Take a look around .

Well , i'm blogging these for ya , Ci Yu .

I fully understand what u mean ... cause i myself have been through all these myself . Ever since when i was sec 1 and sec 2 .. this problem keep occuring and it comes back to me every now and then . Spare tyre isn't it ? yup .. that's what we feel ...

But did u realised , that humans can't read people's minds , people's heart , or even their soul ... so maybe u should just let them know how u feel ..

Maybe u can just call this , part and parcel of life .. but don't fret , there are always true friends out there .. just that maybe these friends don't really show how much they appreciate u ..

For me , whenever i feel sad bout this .. i will blog all my feelings in here ... bcos there's so much to be said .. so much that i ain't happy about .. but i didn't dare face them to say all this .. cause i'm afraid .. i'll lose them .

There are many type of friends , u cannot expect everyone to treat u their best .. so u gotta judge for urself who are ur true friends .. the friends that will be there for u when something happes .. ya ? that's reality i guess ..

haha .. same quote from me ... " don't give up on life ! "

Bout ur mum .. it's about gaining trust from her . You have to realise .. you're a girl , and you're the only child .. you're all your parents have . Imagine you were a mum , and all bcos u gave too much freedom to your daughter and she misused that freedom , and she lost control of the situation and got herself into trouble , what would u do ? you'll be the most guilty , as u are the one who could have prevented it from happening , and to add on to the pain , she's your dearest and beloved daughter .

You get what i mean ? my Mum was very protective over her youngest son ( which is me la ! ) .. this son , had no freedom , he didn't possess such freedom like all his friends had . Going to a good friend's party .. staying overnight to play .. watch soccer .. even Staying overnight to study , she wouldn't allow . I had a curfew everyday ... i had to go home at 7 .. or 10 .. if not , she will start flooding my phone nad scold and scold me .. and get my mood so bad . You know , how good my mum nagging is and how bad when my father scolds . I can't even ride a bicycle at times ... cause they are afraid of me getting hurt and getting killed in a accident .. which is totally riduculous when their son is so good at biking .

The reason , cause i'm their son . They don't want to lose me . They don't want their son to get influenced by the bad . They love their son . My brother and i , are all they have .

You see , now u know why they are " cannot this cannot that? " the only thing u can do , is to gain trust from them . Slowly of course . That's what i did last year .. i told mum and dad , why i'm going over to Changi Airport lately to stay overnight to study for the o's . They didn't allow initially . Cause they were afraid i had nowhere to sleep , and maybe some gang will look for trouble , but i told them , how safe it was , how good the atmosphere is for studying .. "from here is the wrong part " haha , i had a quarrel with them of course .. saying , " i'm going OVER THERE TO STUDY LA ! WHAT DO U THINK I'm TRYING TO DO ? GOING TO SOMEWHERE SO FAR FOR WHAT ! i MIGHT AS WELL SLEEP AT HOME ????? RIGHT ???!!! "

Hmm .. but that night .. the first night i went to changi .. was the night i sorted out my thoughts .. about my life and parents .. haha , wouldn't elaborate .. but it was the turning point and one of the meaningful nights in my life ..

Haha , if u don't know how to get about gaining trust from your parents .. well u can ask me .. cause i'm pretty good at it .. telling u what u can tell them so they will change their mind..haha .. learn from my cousin Martin one .. anyway , take it easy all right ? i'm sure they only mean the good for ya ..

Yesterday celebrated mooncake festival with dragonboat ... man , missed Dragonboat training bcos of BUSINESS STATS TEST ! wah kao ! haha ..so i just joined the celebration ..

well , i missed the time when we would go the park , hill at yishun .. with Lian Hua Dang .. and the childish us , will play with candles .. blowing fire .. all that crap .. haha .. guess we will stay childish forever to have such celebration every year ..

oh NO !! mum's birthday in 2 days ! Why didn't i realised ? ??? oh shit .. this is bad .. last year , we didn't have anything in plan for mum .. so MUM WAS VERY ANGRY ! haha ... then my dad and bro were panicking .. so they called me up to quickly get a cake .. haha .. Dad was the most comical .. he asked me to hurry up bcos he said mum very angry .. haha ..

This year .. hmm .. maybe i should bring her to Sakae Sushi .. well ,Brother , have you got any plans ? cause u are always the one with the fantastic ideas .. it's up to u le ba !

Brother is lately crazy gaming .. i bet his girlfriend might feel that even his gaming is more important than her .. so bro , u better do something .. and u better stop ur PMS ok ? i'm so sick of that ..

Well , presentation and CS competition coming up tomorrow .. hope everything goes well for me .. cause i have a test this week and next week , LIS Project next week .. oh well ..

i heard bout the SP student committing suicide . it's sad .. truly sad .. well .. Life goes on isn't it ? Death isn't the way to solve things .. cause you are only telling the world .. you can't face reality .. but shouldn't u prove them wrong ?

well , i seem like i'm losing hope in life too .. oh well .. i'm always pick people up onto their feets .. but never be able to pick myself to stand up and fight on .

Empty street . Empty heart . A hole inside my heart .

posted by Ben @ 9/29/2004 09:12:00 AM