rockin' my world.

Falling .. Stop iT !! why is everyone telling me this .... - 2 roads . 1 choice . i have to admit i'm lost . ~ My dearest friends .. are hoping for the day .. i clean my hands of u ... what for ? Martin too .... and should i trust my cousin ? i ought to ... but u all say this cause u guys may not even really think in my shoes ! Cause it's me who bear the consequences !! Not u GUys !! whatever happens , it's me who suffer or gain ! not u all ! Of course u guys can say without thinking ... ~ So what the hell are they telling me ? to let u go as my best friend ... as a friend . martin tells me u don't even treat me as a best friend ... and the way he explains .. is pretty convincing ... and come on , i'm not very easy to be decieved . ~ And why are u always giving me some attitude ? can u try to be in my shoes ? i try to be in yours , but u are always telling me no shit ! i have the right to assume since u don't wanna open up . i'm not demanding , i'm just stating a fact . ~ and sometimes , it's so incredible when i have to give u a piece of mind cause it's your fault and i can't ! cause u will flare up and u wouldn't give in to listen at all and so i have to shut the hell up and perhaps say sorry in the end ... then When the hell can my thoughts be heard !! ~~ Whenever i state my thoughts .. u flare up ... like as if i have said anything . THOUGHTS !! they are just freaking thoughts . Based on no evidence or no shit . ~ Why the fuck am i speaking like that ? cause i'm too tired , u are tired , i'm not ? i ought to be more tired than u ! Flaring up for no reason like as if i owe u in my past life ... i try my best , I'm TRying my FUCKING BEST !! i am cheerful nowadays , and i wanna see whether u will wanna make a effort to contact me anot . And when i'm online .. must i always be the one to start talking first ? Must i ? and in the past .. it's who always me who keep talking and all u did was uh Huh .. Ya .. etc . That's all !! isn't there more to life ? What the fuck ... so many words for a word . ~ i hate to use the word fuck , seriously i do . ~ Valentine's day ... how great it is to be lonely man . The lonely 7 jia en calls it . i tot i could meet u at night and pass u the presents ... and .. forget bout it . ~~ yes yes .. i demand . yes yes .. i blame u . and it's ALL my FUCKING FAULT !! Yeah Man !! Fuck ME !!!!! i've only say a few things and u USE THE WORD FUCK ON me !! i have not even start to use it on u all right ? ~~ what the hell happened to me ? i have became a attitude man , and i will not hesitate to give u a fucking piece of my mind if any one of my good friends come irritate me . U know how fucking irritated that day i was with DErrick and edwin ? U knOw ?? I HAVE MY OWN FUCKING friends , i have to spend time with them too and u guys keep saying that i'm wasting my money and all the fuck ... ~` i'm very fucking irritated all right !! Edwin , u also don't fucking hell demand from me things all right !! i did not use any fucking attitude with u and what's with that demanding attitude ? What the fuck is wrong with u ?? TELL ME !! i'm trying not to say u anymore and i don't know what the fuck is wrong with u that day , for giving me some demanding attitude all of a sudden . ~~ WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THIS WORLD !!! i don't wanna mention names . one girl dislike me all of a sudden ... like as if i did anything wrong . HATE me all u want if i did something wrong . But now the fucking thing is that i did nothing wrong !! WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH ALL OF U !! ~ i'm mad . Trigger the alarm and u get it . that's all i say . Actually today was gonna be a happy day ... i tot ytd would also be . But with the 2 of u sudden change in attitude , it really spoil my day . REALLY it did . Today ... my day is spoilt also . ~ i hate my life . i don't wanna be in another damn fucking hard period of my life again . and what's wrong with my guys friends anyway ? Why dump girls and jio girls for no reasons ? please ..be more mature ....

posted by Ben @ 2/16/2004 10:14:00 PM