rockin' my world.

Go away .. please .... i can't hold on much longer .. ~ Fly me up .. to where you are beyond the distant stars .. Bring me outta here ... ~~ Turning around .. and round .. i can't sleep . Then .. the haunting starts ... i tried not to think .. they just come .. and i couldn't take it and hit my head on the wall .. hit my fists on the wall .. it felt better but soon it came again ... i wanted to smash everything i could then . Even myself ... this went on for 1 or hours ... then i slept . I don't know ... i just opened my eyes .. hoping not to see him there in the room ... ~ Tonight... how am i gonna get through tonight ... I'm soon gonna be insane ... it's driving me crazy .... No .. ~ Went for KTV today ... although i did really laughed hard .. it didn't feel the same b4 ... just somehow not the same .. i don't know what's wrong .. i can't really laugh anymore ... no .. even this small amount of joy has to be taken away from me ... ~ i can't feel , i can't smile , i can't laugh , i can't think ..... next .. would it be .. i can't breathe ? No ....i have to win this damn war !! But how to ... how to .. this is no normal opponent ..it has to take one with true spirit to win him ... i don't think i have that true spirit ... ~ Angels are disappearing ... Stars has become dim .. i'm on bended knees .. what should i do ? what i have to DO ?!! The path that lies ahead .. is so dark . No one is here to shine the way for me .. is it ? ~~ If i have to walk this path alone .. i will not hesistate ... no matter what the outcome will be ... people have to accept it . i have to accept it . ~~ i'm losing faith ... in myself .. he's crushing my heart ... Eating up my mind .. my headaches are getting stronger ... ~ Fantasy ? Yeah ..Perhaps the last fantasy i can have .. ~ Will my heart be pierced in the end ? Like how edea pierced Squall's heart ... Damn ... i have to get out of this situation fast !! if not i'll be stuck here forever cause they seem like they are running faster now .. ~ Do i sound as if what i'm saying is some joking matter ? wait til the very day u experience what i experience .. you'll be very afraid .. very scared ... cold .. you won't know how to fight this guy . Good luck to you then . ~ I'm trying to be as strong as i can ... but my heart is weak . He aims my heart .. that's why i'm losing out .. he's haunting me with thoughts that involve the heart .... now .. it's not up to me to save myself . it's up to people who hold the key ... the main key holders .. lose that key and i guarantee you .. the undesirable will come . i see one is letting go ... if the others let go also ... i will have no chance to come back after this war . ~~ Pessimistic ? Insane ? Pyschological problems ? No ... this time around , no ! It is definitely not all these ... ~ Damn .. i can't admit into a hospital if anything happens to me ... my parents won't be able to support if that happens .... so please .. don't bring me there . ~~ Bye ... i see that one main key holder is dropping that key ... once it reaches the ground . Gone .

posted by Ben @ 2/02/2004 12:13:00 AM