rockin' my world.

Fate . What's next ? what's my future gonna be like ? i seriously have no idea ... ~~ What is my next step ? i'm so lost ... i just wanna stay put . Don't move . I don't wanna take any more steps .. i can't make up my mind .. ~ i wish so much that i can carve out an racing career in japan !! I know Singapore .. for now don't have much prospects .. but how can i live that dream .. My parents ain't got enuf cash .. nobody there to take care of me .. i don't know Jap .. ~ guess ... i still have to make a choice . In fact .. 10 choices . ~ My results .. just show how much effort i put in .. that's right . No one is to be blamed ... ~ My results .. perhaps could be due to the fact .. that we quarrelled ? it could have been affected .. cause i know .. i am very unwell during that period .. Nah .. it's just myself that caused these . ~ i took out my hp .. dialed the no. Home ... my bro picked it up .. i said " Kor .. " then i went speechless ... i couldn't face it .. less talk to him .. Tears flowed out .. i couldn't tell him . i've let my family down ... i've disappointed them too much .. i just couldn't hold back .. i'm all torn inside . ~ I never saw this coming ... the moment i take a look at my results .. i fall straight on the floor ... i cannot take it .. it is too disappointing .. ~ i see my colleagues ... one scoring 10 points .. Larvina scoring not bad too ... i'm the only pathetic ass around ... ~ May Anne .. i guess i know what's the answer . 3 mths ... wow .. time really passes fast . Very fast ... i'm erasing u from my memory now ... i have done what i could . i have done what i should . From that day onwards , u were on ur own . Let ur friends scold me ... they think i deserve it .. but did they see what was behind the scenes ? guess .. they have only heard ur side of the story ... ~ Are u enjoying ur life with him ? answer me this qn .. and i can tell , whether u know what is love . But don't need to tell me ur answer ... cause i know it . ~ My life no longer have problems anymore .. and i finally can take a break . ~ i can't believe it .. i have bought a present for a girl instead of my bro . I have made such a silly mistake ... i must keep in mind , not to let go of family members for girls ... ~ Now i really think i'm a big big fool . To fall in love with u .. to do so much things for u . To care for u ... To dream the impossible . To be there for u every night ... To trust u so much .. To believe every word that u say . i've been a fool . Again . And . Again . ~ After this hard period .. i've forgotten the song , How did i fall in love with u , but today when i listened to it again .. i feel so dumb . Very dumb ... ~ Seems like i have to wait again ... Larvina is definitely not for me .. The girl at orchard rejected me ... then what else to do ? i don't seem to have as good fate in girls as martin. .. ~ i really envy him .. that he has Megan . i'm just a fool ... i should have listened to Martin long ago . Why did i bother to hold on then ... Saying i love u 1000 times .. i believe u won't move . Bcos .. u can't let go of him . U don't dare to say .. u don't love him . So does it means .. u love him ? ~ anyway .. that's your own problem .. my hand was there to save u , since it's ur own choice then be it . The last point for u to turn around but u chose not to . i can't believe there will be a girl on earth to choose such a guy for her bf .. proud of him ? perhaps u are ... ~

posted by Ben @ 2/29/2004 04:07:00 PM