rockin' my world.

i say .. there will be second thoughts ... and they will only come later . ~ i just don't know why .. i still care for u ... i still want u to live well .. i have taken the selfish path .. for my own good . U have to take care of yourself ... No .. No one on earth should live their life rottenly ! Please ... u only have 1 life . and live it well ... so please .. let me see that u are getting on well .. i may not live .. to the day u get married and be happy forever .. ~ Should i give .. u another chance ? everyone .. will be against this .. but it's my choice . although i must learn to live under discrimination ... it's all right . i have wallked back to the junction . now , i wanna make my choice again . So is it .. yes or a no . Sorry martin , i'm reconsidering . It involves me ! a friendship of 4 years ... i should not give it up so easily .. is it ? i'm caught in a spider web . Everywhere seems to have its danger . everywhere seems to have its risks .. all i need to do , is just to take a step ... to change my life totally . To forgive or not to forgive .. i follow my heart and GOd . i believe he will guide me the way ... ~ " i'll be loving u forever ... deep inside my heart u live and ever ... Even if you took my heart .. and tore it apart ... i would love u still .. Forever . " i always thought .. that this sentence would always stay true . but now ... do i still hold this in my heart ? i don't know .. ~ My heart is bleeding now ... blood tracks are all over the path i'm walking . Now i'm so lost ... i have been walking for so long .. yet i never seem to see any light . Just like squall .. he was lost in the time compression world .. i just hope .. i end up like him . that an angel will come pick me up ... ~ why don't my friends say anything good .. they don't even know the story and they say this and that .... they make me to be in such a tough position .. just let me fall ... ~ My heart is all torn inside . i stand alone . i have to go thru every storm myself from now onwards ... i have lost my 2 pillars .. ~ it was my decision .. my choice . is it right ? i wonder ... Why shouldn't i forgive u endlessly .. even though u may not learn ... Why is it that we have gone separate ways .. that i still hold on to you .. ~ God helped me in the end .. so in no time . That spirit following me was killed ... and i was released from his clutches ... if not .. everyday .. his sword moves inner my neck .. slicing my neck more and more ... Crushing my heart with his incredible strength ... So all i ask .. is for him to guide me for another time ... i can't make this decision alone . ~ and one thing i tell myself ... whatever is gone , u can't get it back . If i decided to leave u ... and when i want u back again .. i would realised , that the day i let go of you , i have lost u ... ~ so is the choice still not to forgive u ? i don't know ... if u didn't lie to me all this while .. i would trust every world u have said .But now ... can your words be trusted ? that's the main problem .. i have suffered enuf . Not for anything but for nothing . No .. u didn't learn to cherish me after scolding me all this ... i was already on my knees that day ... to get u back ... ~ well .. Let fate decide . Let god create the path for me . I know he won't be wrong . meanwhile .. live your life well .

posted by Ben @ 2/24/2004 06:54:00 PM