rockin' my world.

God will lead the way ... ~ Today collected my results ... Life is indeed disappointing .. i know it . What u sow is what u reap ... i deserve my results .. no one else to be be blamed .. R4 .. 18 . R5 .. abt 25 .. i don't wish to count it .. i'm too disappointed to . ~ Aeronautical .. it's gone . My dream in the air force is half gone .. now i'm taking on a risk for the pilot course .. To go there for 3 years .. and perhaps .. come back not as a pilot ..but as a loser . One dream gone , 1 dream left ... ~ Cars . My passion . But ... i can't be a racer .. my family won't allow . And my family won't be proud of me when i'm officially one . Now .. i can only and want to only head for one course . Not sure whether it's called mechantronics .. but it allows me to work in a car tuner company .. at least that has something to do with cars and a little on racing . ~ I just want to be a pilot ... bcos i want my parents to live well ! it's not my real passion .. but for my parents. i will do it . Pilot .. is not what i really want .. i just .. want to be a racer . ~ Rx-7 .. i want to make Rx-7 live up to its name again .. cause there is so much people critising it ... i'm sure Mazda won't die at RX-8 . But it's losing out now.. i'm sure . ~ i just don't wanna do business courses .. they just make me sick . Banking and finance .. will make me sleep . Accountancy can kill me . No more ... ~ i just wanna be in the Air Force .. no other . ~ Wan xin .. thanks for ur support . Really .. thank you . u are the only one that really cared .. that really wanted to cheer me up .. except for my mum . i really wanted to accept that hug from u .. no one really cared . i'm lost ... i have lost my dream . u really care for me .. it's just too bad that i don't cherish u . People judge on ur looks .. but i don't really do . Looks are not everything .. it's the heart that matters . A lot of pretty girl out there .. are actually very ugly inside . Thanks anyway .. ~~ So what's my future ? i really want to know .. but i know , god will guide me , he will give me lots of path . Since i am born with so many talents .. both weird and good . I know my future is very bright .. and i know , i will make it big in life , it just counts .. whether i wanna work hard . It's just one obstacle from the big .. simple as that . So i have to force myself .. ~ Pilot .. my friends keep telling me aeronautical is not good or what .. but what bout pilot ? i mean .. it's a very highly regarded job ..so what's bad bout it ? ~ i called my bro to tell him the results .. he asked how was it .. i just couldn't answer . I feel that .. i have let them down so much ... so much . i feel that .. i can't even face my mum .. and my bro . I cried .. immediately after my bro asked how .. i just couldn't face him or even talk .. i have let him down too much . it's time i wake up ... it's time to change . Whatever path i go .. i have to work hard . For myself , for my future , for my family .. for my passion . ~ i don't know .. i seriously feel that i have wasted 4 years of my time here .. in this school . whatever is gone .. i can't catch back . i can only move forward .. time that is wasted that is lost .. cannot come back . It's time to move on ... ~ i had so many dreams .. and all i ever wanted .. is just to let my family have a good life .. regardless or whether i like my job .. that's all i want . But how am i supposed to do that now ... ~ Mum .. really let u down .. but ur boy dared to dream .. is only bcos of u and dad .. He will still strive on .. he will . He will not stop here .. we all know .. he has talents . He has many hopes .. he has many chances . It just takes .. for him to grab that one chance . He did not follow his main passion ..is bcos of u . He dared not dream .. and he don't really feel proud of this dream and passion ... ~ Turning point of my life . It's my own future . whether i wanna brighten it or shut my own doors is my choice . Consequences i have to bear . ~ it's really time .. i learn to become a better person . Cherish everyone ... not say but do it . it's time ... i stop being childish .

posted by Ben @ 2/27/2004 06:50:00 PM